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Showing posts from May, 2013

(Reprise) It's not a vacation until you...

Lose count of how much plastic surgery you see within five minutes of arrival at LAX. Help your host select a lemon tree at Home Depot on the way to Palmdale. Kiss two months of sobriety goodbye with some margaritas. 


Split a bottle of wine after the margaritas and paint each other’s toenails. Go out for Mexican food after you should be passed out in bed. Spend the next morning touching up the errors in your toenail polish. Celebrate a friend’s return to the States over beers and half a tri-tip sandwich in San Louis Obispo. Have more beer and take a nap with The Who. 


Let everyone sleep in your hotel room because theirs is just too scary. Go wine-tasting in a limo with a stripper pole. 


Learn how to properly sniff wine, but don’t get frustrated when you can’t tell the difference in any of them. Drink a $150 wine without swirling or sniffing. Vogue in front of a boxcar. 


Take a nap in broad daylight while a party rages around you. Learn the hard way that there are no cabs available in Paso…